Back to Reality

I don't know who I am anymore. I seem to be moving down a path I don't like, and I don't like what I see on the way. Things have gone horribly wrong this week - maybe it's not a matter of conflict, but a matter or precognition. I don't know what has gotten into me these few days, but I know what I know. I'm beginning to think I can see the future and the tapertry of fate. I'm still at a conflict about how real this world is. Delusions are moving into an accelerated state, and I don't know what I think anymore. A simple figment of imagination is turning into a nightmare as quickly as it could, I'm feeling and seeing things I shouldn't be at this point. Worse part is that some of them may be connected to me. The threads tell me exactly what I need to know. The only problem at this point is that I don't know how to decipher this signals. It's continuous haunting me how weird this world is and how many conincidences happen more often than not. The world is coming to a point where I think that either I control it, or I know everything about it. The way I'm looking at things - the longer I stay on Earth, the worse things become. But I know that this is not possibly true. It's absurd.

Everything changes in a heartbeat - it is completely unpredictable what I'm going to see next, but I believe that I am now no longer in a stable enough state to continue on with too much in my life. This is beginning to sound like a suicide note, but it isn't. This is my release for all things that have gone wrong. Things need to change around here, and it has to start with me.

Everything must change. Or nothing will survive. This is the beginning of the end of this war.

Now Playing: Simple Plan - Perfect World

I never could’ve seen this farI never could’ve seen this coming Seems like my world’s falling apart

Yeah

Why is everything so hard I don’t think I can deal with the things you said It just won’t go away

In a perfect world This could never happen In a perfect world You’d still be here And it makes no sense I could just pick up the pieces But to you This means nothing Nothing at all

I used to think that I was strong Until the day it all went wrong I think I need a miracle to make it through

Yeah

I pictured I could bring you back I pictured I could turn back time Cuz I can’t let go I just can’t find my way Yeah Without you I just can’t find my way

In a perfect world This could never happen In a perfect world You’d still be here And it makes no sense I could just pick up the pieces But to you This means nothing Nothing at all

I don’t know what I should do now I don’t know where I should go I’m still here waiting for you I’m lost when you’re not around I need to hold on to you I just can’t let you go

Yeah Yeah

In a perfect world This could never happen In a perfect world You’d still be here And it makes no sense I could just pick up the pieces But to you This means nothing Nothing at all Nothing, nothing at all Nothing at all

Time to Frag

Tomorrow, I'll be busy turning my friend's character into tiny pieces of meat on screen. I hope I succeed at reigning among them with my 1337 skills. Should recover from instability after some frenzied fun. ;) My expected plan for tomorrow ;) : 2:00pm - Picking up my brand new graphics card. A 6600GT AGP - should give me the edge I need. 3:30pm - Going to the host's house. 4:00pm - Have everything set up. 4:30pm - Benchmarks! 5:00pm - Fun time! 7:oopm - Dinner? 8:00pm - More frenzied battles! 12:00am - Some much needed sleep.

What Do You Believe In?

What do you believe in? Do you believe that we should all do good and all will be well? Do you believe that God exists? Do you believe that there are many Gods? DO you believe that there are many people in this world who are lost? Do you believe in the reality of this world? Do you believe in your friends? Do you believe that you are constantly being watched? Do you believe that you are pure? Do you believe that you are always pushed to the limit? Do you believe you could've done better? Most important of all questions among this is: Do you believe in yourself? Do you believe that you are right?

Habits of Scholarship Holders

From what I've observed today, I repesent you with the findings of my observations: 1. Scholarship holders are more likely than others to give a higher priority to study over work. 2. Scholarship holders are more likely to not turn up when called to help with activites. 3. Scholarship holders are more obsessed with getting (what else?) more scholarships. 4. Scholarship holders will either work really hard or take life really easy. 5. Scholarship holders are usually interested in at least one of the subjects they are currently taking. 6. Scholarship holders generally are able to hold up that they will pass any subject beyond reasonable doubt. 7. Scholarship holders usually write a lot more letters. 8. Scholarship holders are extraordinary in at least two separate fields (usually).

Note that: Most scholarship holders will probably fulfill only about 3 or 4 things I stated here. My hiatus still on, just thought that it would be fun if I didn't abandon the site every time I have some emotional instability. LOL