I'm feeling a little weak today. I don't know what's wrong with me. Maybe it's lack of sleep or something. My legs are a little slow, I can't seem to think straight today. Notice the lack of posts lately? I'm even typing a little slower. I'm not sure if I'm sick or something, but oddly enough, it's just a feeling. Trying to push my body to do what it usually does has no side effects. Weird.
Chaos, Death and End
I think some of you may be wondering why my MSN nickname contains these "negative" words. The truth is, it is actually linked to an experience lately.
It was on the LRT. When I stepped on the train, I suddenly felt a cold chill. I don't know what it was, but I believe it was Death on that train. I could feel time moving slower - I suddenly felt like something was going to happen, but nothing did. It felt as if the train was moving a lot slower than normal, and the chill kept bugging me. It felt like there was moment time had literally stopped and I looked at the other passengers who seemed to be frozen in time on one instance.
Then, everything went back to normal. The chill was still there - and I didn't think Death had left either. I finally got off at the Kelana Jaya station, where the chill didn't leave me until I was nearly at the exit of the station.
What Is A Blog?
I've been rethinking about the meaning of blog. It's supposed to be short for web log. In other words, I could probably call the log for this server (since it's viewable online) a blog? I don't think that's quite right. Let's be more realistic. The word blog now is actually synonymous with an online diary. But I don't think I've been using it as much of an online diary. I've been using it more for a place to tell the world what you want to tell them. Sometimes, you tell the world what you want to do. Sometimes, you tell them what you did earlier. Sometimes, you may write a story that you hope the world will read. Other times, you may write out articles about things you like or don't like.
I actually make a variety of posts in my own mind every few days, some I keep in my head, some I type online. Of those I type online, some you will never see. Some of them I delete, some of them I keep as private, but about 70% of what I type into this WordPress window usually ends up where it should be - with you reading it.
In The End, You Die.
It's true, isn't it? Regardless of what you do, where you do whatever it is you intend to do, you are going to die one day. To you and to many others it is true. Death is inevitable. We are talking about the end of your days. Most of us will probably die of old age - the weakness of the human body is its limited capability to regenerate. Regardless, you will do a million things to live on. If you're diabetic, you'll be on insulin to avoid a diabetic coma and dying. If you have cancer, you go through whatever treatment possible, unless you find yourself in a hopeless advanced state. If you have a bacterial infection, you take antibiotics. If you have a viral infection, you take antiviral medication. (Such creativity.) The truth is - at the end of the day - all of us are as sure as hell going to die. Most of the time, we don't want to die not because of ourselves being just simply afraid of death. We are thinking about what happens to loved ones, what happens to ones you love and what happens when you die. Some of us believe that we go to heaven or hell. Some people believe hell is the only way to go. Some people believe is a place where you can wait for everyone before journeying to a new land. Some people may merely believe you just plain die - meaning when you die, you can't do anything about it but... um.... die. :D
What's the lesson from today's post? Nothing really. You already know this. So, maybe a new piece of advice - afraid of dying? You might as well forget about that fear - you gonna die anyway, so forget about your fear of dying. :D Of course, if medical science could save you, go for it - not like you have much to lose anyway.
Predictive - Or Just Mere Intuition?
Today, I decided to have fun trying out to see if I can predict the near (really near) future or not. Here's what I did - I looked at my watch - started the stopwatch, and decided to try it for some fun. I visualized a RapidKL bus coming down the road when the stopwatch hit 13 minutes and 56 seconds. I was right - except that the bus was on the other side of the road going the other way. I tried again, this time trying to be more specific, and guessed that another bus would show up at 14 minutes 21 seconds. I was right - a RapidKL bus came - but it wasn't the route I wanted to take. This time I decided to be even more specific - I visualised the bus number. I got a time of 14 minutes 56 seconds. I was again right this time round - the bus came to a complete stop at the bus stop at exactly 14 minutes 56 seconds, although I didn't get into the bus until the stop watch hit 15 minutes 1 second. Coincidence that I chose correct stopwatch readings? I honestly don't know about that. :P